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Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
There`s no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you`re blowing up a rubber glove.
Facebook: The only place where you get excited when strangers follow you.
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
Only you can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...
I ate the whole box of Slim Fast bars. So excited about how skinny I`ll be when I wake up tomorrow.
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....