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Smelling another person should be a choice. Just sayin’
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
What do you call a woman with big breasts who doesn`t make sandwiches? A compromise.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
Friend: Hey that`s a great truck. what kinda engine? Me: [rubbing the hood] it`s got a truck engine
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
I don`t get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There`s never any left when he comes home.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
That frustrating feeling when the microwave trips the circuit breaker and you have no idea how much longer your lunch needs to be nuked.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.