Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My mom never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
Don`t sugar-coat it, I`ll just lick that off....
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
I look at you and think "why has no-one hit you with a shovel yet?"
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
Bacon...need I say more
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
This century is already 15% over.
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs