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If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
Learn a lesson from your dog. No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that crap and move on.
Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...
The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the woman.
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
I mean, I don`t even call it a hangover anymore. It`s just morning.
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore
When my dog sniffs another dog’s poop I can only assume that it’s their equivalent to checking a friend’s facebook page.
I`m using voice-to-text to post this status. All I do is talk and it makes a text out of it. It`s really cool... Hey! What are you doing? That`s my phone! Give it back! Come back here, you son of a...
Kids maybe a gift..... But I like playing with the box it came in.
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?