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I have decided to stop doing things "Like a Boss" and will now do things "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy."
It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
Offering a homeless dude $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
I’m not going bald. I’m getting more head.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
As an adult, I’m not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought I would.
Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.
We`re shutdown, but not `stop collecting taxes` shutdown. - the government
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
If you emphasize the ‘po’ in police they’re probably already after you.
Nothing says "I`ve already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?