Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
If you’ve ever used Urban Dictionary to compose or decipher a text, congratulations, you`re over 40.
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
Shouldn`t there have been one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
I’m not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
Note to self: Stop leaving notes to yourself, you never read them anyway...
I believe in the silver rule of life: Do unto others then run!
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
I`m honest, so when I say I took a "cat nap" that means that I slept for 18 hours and then pissed on your favorite shirt after I woke up.