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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
Mrs Bieber.... WHY U NO USE CONDOM?
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
I’m not a biologist but I’m pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
Is snaxting a thing? Texting each other pics of your snacks? Cause I feel like I’d be pretty good at that.
I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, “Man, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.
For once in my life, I’d like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my p@nis is.
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
Watching these gymnasts doing the balance beam is making me feel really bad about almost missing the couch.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.