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Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely Facebooking than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space.
When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It`s only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.
If you like someone, pretend they`re a charger and you`re an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
"Rear facing, pedal activated photon cannon" sounds much more badass than "brake lights"
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble people, respect it!
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
Hey, people who don`t drive *exactly* like I do. Get off the road!
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)