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Honk if you are reading this.
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.
Chapstick is an entire industry based on you losing the product and buying more.
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
I got a little package in the mail today. For some reason it just reminded me of my ex.
I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can`t even afford a washer or a dryer
The doctor said I should be drinking more whiskey. Also, I’m calling myself “the doctor” now.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
Check this one out.........1
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.