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When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
You know you`ve picked the right friends if no one has nominated you for the ice bucket challenge
Heads up, peeps. There are over 700 fake Obamacare sites ready to swipe your info. Pro tip: The real site is the one that doesn`t work...
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my mind and my temper
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
I don`t blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I`d be irresponsible too.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....