Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“Why is life so hard?” – Me, trying to open a jar of peanut butter.
When I arrive at work, how long can I spend screaming in my car before it becomes weird?
You can’t call them “love handles” if nobody loves you
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
Ways to tell a woman is mad at you: 1. She is silent. 2. She is yelling. 3. She acts different. 4. She acts the same. 5. She kills you.
Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
Not remembering where I set my drink down must be the same feeling parents have when they lose their four year old at the mall.
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.
Sometimes I can’t remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlines…I totally get it.
I`d like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.