Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don`t want to touch it any more than you do.
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
Boss: "Thanks for the coffee. You know what`d go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a donu...Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
The police never think its as funny as you do.
If you go to dinner alone always ask for a table for two. Look sad as you eat and you will almost always get a free dessert
Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, I’m really disappointed with Bill Gates.
The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.
I`ve honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That`s like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.
When your Dr. says "I`ll need to Google that"..... it`s time to change Doctors
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane`s dog & she was like, "I`ve never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"
Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?