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Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
You know nothing about a woman until she`s drunk and mad at you
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
These are not pizza stains on my shirt they are pizza memories, wonderful wonderful memories.
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops
I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.