Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when my girlfriend accuses me of something I didn`t think she knew about.
Online dating is like shopping for a car online... show me the carfax!! I wanna see the history!
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
The last time I got drunk I married Satan..I`m not doing either one again
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
I’m so broke this New Years Im gonna party like its $19.99.
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
I still like going into Burger King and ordering a McWhopper and a McFry.
Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you`re getting ready to take hostages.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.