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Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you..
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
I am pretty sure dry cleaning is a scam where they just laugh and rub money on your clothes then hang them back up in a plastic bag.
Woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on my face....damn kids and thier sharpies.
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
It`s not you, it`s me. I just don`t like myself when I`m around you.
There`s 3 ways to get something done: 1. Do it yourself, 2. Hire someone or 3. Forbid your kids to do it.
There’d be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.