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Found out today that you`re supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, NOT a jelly stain. Sorry, strange lady at the Waffle House. Just trying to help...
I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
My Dr said I am a sex addict. I ask him how he knew and he said you are a man.
When I`m on my deathbed, I`m definitely going to ask if I can be moved to a different bed.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
Don’t be too flattered. If I’ve come up a fun nickname for you, chances are it’s because I’ve forgotten your real name. Sorry, Cowboy.
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
Considering that dogs pee to mark territory, they probably think humans are constantly battling over who gets to claim the toilet.
I just ran a .003048K
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.