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is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it`s because they`ve just killed someone right?
I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
Today I am thankful for dirty text messages, stripclubs, and Jack Daniels
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this...
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.