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You`re the reason I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to goto work.
wondering if today is a good day to implement my plan...
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
Will you go with me to my therapist tomorrow? He thinks I`m making you up.
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
I don`t wanna be told what to do unless I`m naked
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her.
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!