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We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
Pet stores should post "Chameleon" on empty reptile cages just to see how long people would stand and look.
Just moisturized my hands and now I can`t get out of the bathroom. Send help.
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
If you ever find lotion on a guy`s night stand, it`s not because he wants to moisturize his skin.
I fail to understand the ‘good’ part of ‘good morning’
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
I didn`t sleep well last night so this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. Half way to work I realized I forgot my car.
If a man says you`re ugly, he`s being mean. If a woman says you`re ugly, she`s jealous. If a little kid says you`re ugly, then you`re ugly.
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.