Daily Silly Status

You ever wonder why it`s only women who need exorcisms?

That awkward moment for a guy when he`s at a urinal stall and another guy takes the stall right next to him when there`s plenty of other perfectly good stalls farther away..

OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries. It fills you up nicely but without the buzz.

There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re probably really hot.

Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it`s not just women who won`t marry you.

I didn`t sleep well last night so this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. Half way to work I realized I forgot my car.

I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...

Doc: ``Hows your headache ?`` Me: ``She`s at home``

I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.

Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl

Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever....

What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work

I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.