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is tring to fool people into thinking I have a social life by going offline from Facebook for a few hours.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
I always get a nice safe feeling whenever I see a police car and I realize I`m not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
Make Tomorrow More Fun: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold
Thanks to Facebook, rock bottom now has a waiting list.
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
You have no idea how funny I am to me.
C`mon Netflix, we both know I`m watching the next episode. Just go ahead and start it.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies.
Sleep is like a time machine to breakfast.