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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute? Just ask your girlfriend if she`s gained weight.
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
I wonder how many identical twins are walking around now with the wrong names because their parents got them confused as infants and never figured it out.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
If you think you have problems, remember that Malaysian man who told his wife he was flying to China... and now he can`t get out of his girlfriend`s apartment...
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
Tonight I’m trying to get to that happy place right between don’t know my own name and head in the toilet.