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You`re the reason I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to goto work.
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
thinks the voices in my head are out of beer.
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
It`s shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
In hell you`re always trying to spread butter that`s too cold.
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
"Don`t try this at home"...Okay, i`ll try it at my friend`s house..
My blood hound was just attacked by a Crip hound.
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.