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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
It`s what`s on the inside that counts... *Except chocolate covered raisins.
My daughter just explained to me that these dinner postings were not real invites. I have to apologize to all my friends out there for showing up last week.
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere complement on their mustache...and then she won`t talk to you anymore.
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
I know u r but what am I ?
You know you are getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
Note to Self: Wearing headphones do not make my farts silent.
If I haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you… don’t worry, it’ll happen.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’m gonna ki..-ahhh. Damn, he’s under a blanket.”
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...