Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
If you have no regrets in life, you clearly have never gone out with me.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
What if the weather talks about us?
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
Girls are like parking spots all the good ones are taken and the rest are to far away
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
I wouldn’t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
I don`t care if you wear footie pj`s or sleep with a Snuggie. If you swish Listerine in your mouth for the full 30 seconds, you are BADA$$.
I`ll never need a shrink as long as my wife keeps pointing out whats wrong with me...
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.