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the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser.
I don`t care if it`s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I`m 97% more likely to participate.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
Relationship status – table for one but drinks for two.
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped and shattered my phone
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
Don’t compare yourself to others, that’s when you start to lose confidence in yourself.
DO NOT expect a "Bless You" after your 3rd sneeze. Get that sh!t under control.
If you want to be remembered after you die, borrow money from everyone you know.
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.