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is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
You know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
"Being naked isn`t fun" - said no one ever.
I’m quite confident that the reason I’m single is because I didn’t forward that chain letter in 2003.
times new roman walks into a bar. "sorry, we don`t serve your type."
With names like "Batman" and "Robin", you`d think they could fly...
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.
I`ve spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can`t find his nuggets.
You know it`s cold outside... when you step on dog poop and roll your ankle
Kids maybe a gift..... But I like playing with the box it came in.