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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
My head says “go to the gym” but my heart says, “stay on the internet forever and eat!”
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
Why does the girl in the Wendy`s commercials have Ronald McDonalds hair?
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don’t get her a size S with a gift receipt, you’re an a$$hole.
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.