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I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?
We get it people on Facebook. You`re married, you have kids, you`re happy. Calm down.
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
If there`s one thing I`ve learnt in life it`s to stay clothed during sensitive conversations.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
I failed my driver`s test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Text and check Facebook."
I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.
I`ll never need a shrink as long as my wife keeps pointing out whats wrong with me...
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.