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What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
It`s called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
If a coworker asks to borrow your pen - sniff it and say, “I think this one is safe” and see if they’ll take it from your hand.
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
You the bomb" "No you the bomb" A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
I wish I could forget you as easy as I forget my passwords.
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
Cookies and porn are always better when they`re homemade!
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....