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People who are about to tell you something then say "never mind" are the reason why I sometimes admire serial killers
K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.
If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
Lazy is a very strong word, I like to call it “selective participation.”
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
Facebook is like my fridge… I know there is nothing there but I check it every 10 minutes anyways.
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
Oh the weather outside is frightful, And this booze is damn delightful
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?