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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
If laziness was a sport, I would win first. Except I would have to send someone to except my medal.
I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
Love means never being able to like another girl’s selfie on Instagram ever again.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche.
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
I like wearing glasses because I like to dramatically remove them before I say something profound. Doing that with contacts doesn`t have the same effect.
If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot...
Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…