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I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
You can tell a lot about someone by whether they read HP as horsepower or hit points.
Thanks to Facebook, rock bottom now has a waiting list.
If you`re a girl and you drink Vodka... there`s a high probability, I love you.
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
Scared some Jehovah`s Witnesses today by going to the door completely naked. I`m not sure what scared them more, me being totally naked or the fact that I knew where they lived.
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
An ex asking to stay friends after you break up is like a kidnapper asking to stay in touch after they let you go.
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
Pro tip: Go the the gym on one of those 1 day free passes, take 365 selfies then post one every day.