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I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
β€œHangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term β€œhanghappening”.
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean & people think I’m joking.
There`s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
Very productive day today, turd-wise
My idea of getting lucky is having someone else do the laundry.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page