Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101. Today`s class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you`re here now, you failed.
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
My neighbor thinks I`m crazy and that I`ve been stalking her. well at least that`s what her diary says.
For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats.
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
Pointing out the food you just dropped on the floor to your dog because you`re too lazy to clean it.
I don`t drink to forget my problems. I drink because I survived them!
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
I just want you to be happy. And naked.