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My New Year`s resolution is to spend more time wishing my enemies were dead.
You make me want to be a better class of psycho.
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
Why isn`t a menu board at a coffee house called JavaScript?
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
You know you`re getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you`re down there.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
Trust me... You don`t want my undivided attention.
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up
Being alive is so expensive.