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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
As a kid, i was afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I am terrified of the electrical bill.
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
Haters gonna hate, your honor
A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I`m making you up.
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
The secret to a successful lemonade stand is vodka.
Job interview tip: repeatedly ask if you`re under oath
Just another day of not being rich and famous.
If House of Cards has taught me anything it’s that I need a friend who owns a rib place.
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!