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Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
We live in the era of smartphones & stupid people
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it`s pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I`m on Facebook, I don`t have money or a life.
Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"? Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it.
When I get a prescription for drugs, I don`t ask, `Will it work? Are there any side effects?` No, it`s `Can I drink with these?`
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.