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If it weren`t for WebMD I would have never known what symptoms to mimic so I could get all these prescriptions from my doctor.
If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
Studies show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian roulette.
Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber were both answers on Jeopardy tonight. The end is near........
8 more days and I will finally get rid of last years Halloween candy.
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, I tell people about my accomplishments and they say "big Deal
The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
“The darndest things.” -kids
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
Does running away from your problems count as exercising? If it is, then I`m one hell of a fitness freak
Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!
Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!
"Oh my god, you`ve gotten so fat! Want me to make you something to eat?" - my mom