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So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
Marriage is like playing Monopoly. It starts out as fun, gets a little boring, then someone steals money from the bank and no one ever wins.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
I took my family to Sea World this weekend, but i wasnt allowed in. Apparently you cant take your fishing rod.
I took a pic of my self a few days ago. Now I`m playing with it. Yeah...I`m playing with my selfie.
Iām supporting our troops today by going commando.
I laughed more at the Broncos offense then I did at the commercials.
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it`s okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich
*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be