Daily Silly Status

To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?

I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones

I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.

I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.

I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.

Look, all I`m saying is if you didnt want me to take my clothes off and do an interpretive dance you should have turned off Michael Jacksons "man in the mirror".

I can`t afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring

"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"

After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.

I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.

If you give up smoking, drinking, and sex, you don’t live longer, just seems longer.

I`ve totally cut carbs out of my diet. Until lunch.

The real heroes are the people who live within driving distance of their in-laws.

My friend thinks he`s so smart. He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$.