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"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
If you have to guess what a commercial is selling, it`s always perfume.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
Why is it all the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, impossible, addictive, or fattening?
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.
I`m honest, so when I say I took a "cat nap" that means that I slept for 18 hours and then pissed on your favorite shirt after I woke up.