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Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
I avoid online dating sites because they match you up with people who share your interests. I don`t want to go out with a weirdo.
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
I wish I had the kind of life my spam folder thinks I have!
When I grow up I wanna be a psychiatrist for the mentally insane...so i can find out what the hell is wrong with you people
My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
I`m just 1 nap, 8 beers, 2 orgasms and my own personal robot away from this being the best day ever.
Stop procrastinating. Join Hokey Pokey Anonymous today and turn that life around!
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.