Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My dad taught me righty tighty, lefty loosie.... that`s why I never dated left handed chicks.
I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
Sorry to all my friends and family members who didn`t know I was a freak until they saw my likes and shares on Facebook.
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?
Multitasking? Iām not even good at unitasking.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.