Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come know-it-alls, don`t know how annoying they are?
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Telling someone they shouldn`t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn`t be happy because others have it better.
Next time a customer service rep asks “Is there anything else I can do for you?” whisper “Smile for the camera, I’m watching you” & hang up
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood like reality.
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
My wife told me, "I look really fat. Please make me feel better and compliment me." I said, "You have perfect eyesight."
My neighbors complained that I never mow my lawn. So I started mowing. The cops showed up at 3 a.m.. These neighbors are never happy...
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
Boy: "Life`s a bitch, so is my Girlfriend." Girlfriend: "Life`s short, so is his d!ck.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective.
My New Years Eve = Hangover 4
I put on real clothes today. What more do you want from me?
I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`