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My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
When people say they did something "like a boss" I just picture them doing it fatter and with less hair
When my dog sniffs another dog`s poop I can only assume that it`s their equivalent to checking a friend`s facebook page.
My local hairdresser just got arrested for selling drugs. Unbelievable! I`ve been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!
The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
Now that there is no FBI director we can finally make copies of VHS tapes
You know what’s funny? Lots of sh!t so lighten the f*ck up.
Things that make you go Mmmmmmm - Duct Tape