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America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
I`d like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
The Patriots defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
It`s so awkward when you get texted to come over and you have to pretend like you weren`t already inside their house.
Reincarnation is my only hope.
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.