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(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
There is nothing more annoying than a couple who just got back from vacation.
I got in an elevator with a lady with big breasts. She said could you press one for me please. I did and that was the last thing I remember
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
Nice try "Private Caller", but I wont`t answer even if I know you.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a video camera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
She said there`s no difference between turkey bacon and regular bacon, and now I`m supposed to just "forget about it"?
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!