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SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now Iām heading north to start a new life.
You question whether you are getting old when your barber asks if your eyebrows need trimming, and you know it when he does it without asking
WTF, I feel like I pay these bills every month.
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.
Saw these three things on a corner, in this order: Liquor store, gun store, bank. What could possibly go wrong with that?
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.