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Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
I hope we`re friends until we die and then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the sh!t out of people.
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
Raising teenagers is easy, they sleep 16 hours day, eat the other 8, and the only word in their vocab is "ok"
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
Where have you been all my life? ... Please go back there.
The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
It`s so awkward when you get texted to come over and you have to pretend like you weren`t already inside their house.
A "Tap Out" sticker on your mini van still makes it a mini van.
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
At least a stalker is there for you.
You had me at Rice Krispies Treats