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Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
If you have no regrets in life, you clearly have never gone out with me.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you’re supposed to be doing something else.
I bet someone could get really rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights!
Do good masochists go to heaven, or hell?
Oh, you fell in love?! I fell in my bathtub.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?