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Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
I don`t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
I`ve never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That`s like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.
Slipped on black ice today, I thought it was regular ice at first, but when I stood up, my wallet was gone.
Wow comma I just realized if I tap the microphone on my keyboard I don`t have to type out my statuses anymore exclamation point
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.