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Do you ever wish you were a monkey? Then if you got mad at someone, you could just fling your poo at them. Problem solved.
It hurts to be in love. Oh wait, I`m sitting on my keys.
Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
How to tell if a woman is mad at you: 1.She`s quiet 2.She`s yelling 3.She acts the same 4.She acts different 5.She murdered you
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "AND, you live next door."
Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It`s the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
If you haven`t used your fingers to "expand" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you`re not me.
This company doesn`t know how much of an asset I am.. Or an ass-sit. They really should pay more attention.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
drinks well with others.
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.