Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is too short to be kissing the wrong a$$.
There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
I tend to avoid things that make me look fat. You know like scales, mirrors and photographs
Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car that says "I know what you did".
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
Are the ATF and border patrols also shutdown? Asking for a Mexican friend....
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
I just saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth ... She was down to the final four.
Can`t we all just hit a bong?
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.