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"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
Two knives taped together are not a suitable alternative to scissors.
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
The realization you`ve spoken too loudly when you exclaimed: " My Salad had NUTS!"
Sorry I said "You`ll Do" instead of "I Do" at our wedding.
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say "Give me the dumbest thing you can think of."
Impressing the McDonald’s drive thru people with my music is always a top priority.
Serving size ?? LMAO
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not your true friends.