Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Oh Sh!t, Was That Today?" my autobiography
Stop screaming, lady. All I said was `this is how pornos start`. It`s just elevator talk.
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
Every woman needs a shoulder to cry on, a shoulder to lean on and a shoulder to hold her bra strap on!!!
I`m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
My misery likes tequila, not company.
The awkward moment when someone say "I gotta use the restroom.... Never mind."