Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting.
When people tell me "You`re gonna regret that in the morning"...I sleep in till noon, because I`m a problem solver.
I gave up on humanity when I picked up this girl`s phone and saw that my number was saved as Free Food.
The only thing worse than "the one who got away" is "the one who won`t go away."
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
If I have to stir it, it’s homemade.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
Nobody looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep.
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of beer named Responsibly.
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
I got a new high score today ... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
FYI: Every Scooby Doo episode would literally be 2 minutes long, if the gang went to the mask store 1st & asked a few questions.
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.