Daily Silly Status

"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.

Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it

I’m just like everyone else: I put my straight jacket on one buckle at a time.

!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.

To be Frank, I`ll have to change my name.

Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?

Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life`s problems

Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?

I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.

Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.

Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.

My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it

Look, here’s the deal: If you’re into immature, sexually compulsive men who drink too much and need to be the center of attention at all times, you are going to find me very attractive.

LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.

I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.