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I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
I want to give up coffee, but I`d hate to do that to my coworkers.
The sense of success when you鈥檝e had something stuck between your teeth and you manage to free it after 25 mins of tactical tongue pressure.
I stamp my hand on Saturday morning so it looks like I went out on Friday night.
S枚 卯 h猫茫rd 每么u l矛k锚 g霉每拧 with 谩c莽e帽ts?
The worst time to need sneeze is when you鈥檙e driving. The worst time to need to pee is when you鈥檙e driving and need to sneeze.
Wind chimes? I can`t see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what`d be nice? Noise.
Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
I wouldn鈥檛 say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
If the shoe fits, buy it.
If I鈥檓 going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then I鈥檓 going to need a bigger rug.
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button