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Always have a goal. Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can.
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Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
You win some, you lose some, and if you`re lucky, you get some.
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
I’ve been reading a lot about how to live and eat healthier and then not doing anything with that information.
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...`That looks tasty, I`m gonna eat that.`