Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
Finally down to my pre-pregnancy/pre-kids weight...well...before my wife had kids I mean.
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
Beauty is only a light switch away...
According to my current parking spot, I`m Chief of Police.
Actually officer, I`d prefer to think that vodka smells like me.
With great power comes a great electricity bill.
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
Never piss off the person that cooks your dinner ... EVER!
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!