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If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
Insert coin to view my status message.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
It is kinda at the point where everything in my life is a movie reference
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.