Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
"You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good.
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
Every pair of panties can be a thong if your a$$ is big enough.
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.