Daily Silly Status

"I`d hit that" -old people who drive

My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.

I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord

pudding... thats always a funny word

So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.

Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.

The buses don`t go where you live do they.

I`ve been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don`t know how to tell her I forgot her name.

Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?

Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"

I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.

I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.

I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.

That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.

How do you expect kids to listen to their parents when Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella comes home at midnight, Pinocchio lies all the time, Alladin is the king of thieves, Batman drives at 200 mph, Sleeping Beauty is lazy, and Snow White lives with 7 guys. We shouldn’t be surprised when they misbehave, they get it from their storybooks!