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I have decided to stop doing things "Like a Boss" and will now do things "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy."
According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, You`re actually a few million years late. That star is dead, just like your dreams.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
How does Ice-T order an Iced Tea without sounding like a douche?
My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it’s not there to tempt me anymore.
And then God said, "Seems unfair to have given man an extra limb so to balance it out I`ll give women the power over which to control it."
I`m so in Debt, I could start a Government.
My anger management class pisses me off
If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up.
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.