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I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
I`m having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... ok by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
University; It`s like being unemployed, but your parents are proud of you.
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
Good job on the speed traps, cops – How are the murderer traps coming along?
Put your gossiping skills to the test, go write a novel...
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
I don’t know how your day is going, but I just got lucky on the couch! Yep, I found a dollar!
That tenth doctor is a selfish idiot, he never recommends anything!
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.