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Ever notice how the automatic flush sensors in public restrooms kinda look like hidden cameras?
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!
The WWF advert asks, “When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” ... Well, swimming, I suppose.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
I`m really tired but it`s OK. There`s a nap for that.
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
life is too short to match socks
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I’ll never know.
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.